Life After College - Northern Virginia Edition

Life After College - Northern Virginia Edition

10-6-15

Today I can raise a glass and celebrate - I've made it three months. Three months of working for the Diocese of Arlington, three months of living in Northern Virginia, three months of settling into a totally new environment, three months of being an adult. 

Three months that God has given me! Praise Him!

Five months ago, I graduated from Franciscan University, and quickly after, found myself having the best summer of my life at Lifeteen Camp in Georgia. I can look back at that experience and not only speak highly of it, but also remember the memories. It changed the person I am today. (If you want to hear about that experience, check out my last blog.)

But that time has passed. It's been three months since I was jumping in mud pits and screaming my lungs out with teenagers during praise and worship. 

I left camp, and a week later, was starting the job I am working now - Young Adult Coordinator for the Diocese of Arlington. 

And now, its October. 

Crazy. Time really does fly. 

Now the question becomes, how have these past three months gone?

In truth, I had very few expectations coming to this area of the country. There were some certainties of course, like the fact I knew I had a job, and I knew I'd be living with my brother and very close to my sister, but besides that, I was going into this new chapter of my life blind. 

I had never met the people I was going to be working with, and all I knew about my job was from a little paragraph under the job description. 

Even still, I knew I'd be working for the Church, and that God wanted me here. The rest of it? I trusted God would make it all clear in time.

Well, three months in, and in truth, I'd say things are still fuzzy. 

I want to first say that I really love what I'm doing, and I know there is a real reason I'm doing it. God didn't place me here just because. I remember Senior Year someone asking me what I was planning to do upon graduation, and without really knowing what I was saying, I said, "Probably working for the Church for the rest of my life in some way." 

That wasn't just water under the bridge. I know that those words came out not so much for the person I was talking to, but for me. God told me what he wanted, and he did so by letting me say it out loud. I majored in communications, not theology, yet God has made it clear he isn't really concerned about that. 

But like I said, things are still fuzzy. He convinced me I'm called to serve Him in a very ministerial way, but that doesn't mean I have perfect clarity. My vision is still a bit blurry. 

I can see bits and pieces of his never ending plan for me, but due to my own deficiencies, it isn't making a whole lot of sense. There are days that I find myself working, and I ask myself, "Is this really what you want from me Lord? There has to be something else you want from me, cause this is not me." I've begun to realize I'm mixing "my plan" with "God's plan" and hoping I can make mine become His, 

In truth, I've done before; it's definitely not a new concept.  

Good can be done through this!

 But in the end, Jesus tells us, "I will show you a more perfect way," and does so for a reason. He wants the absolute best for us and from us. God is a loving Father, and because of that, wants us to take the very best path available, 

He doesn't just want us to be doing good, to be feeling good. He wants us to be doing our best, to be feeling our best! 

We will never be perfect.

I will never be perfect!

But that doesn't mean I shouldn't try. And how do I accomplish this? Little by little. 

I'm called to give it all over to Him, for His greater glory.

And believe me, since moving to Virginia, He's loved asking this of me.

At first, it was living in a house where I had no room, and no place to store my stuff. I was basically sleeping in the living room nightly. I was away from my usual comforts. It wasn't too much of a sacrifice, but it stretched me. 

Then it happened when I came to realization I didn't have the community I had while in school. I wanted to be with people every day, but God asked me to instead spend that time with Him. Again, I was being stretched. 

Then it was working a real job, with larger responsibilities then I was used to, and having to follow steps and regulations that seemed to get in the way of doing things "my way." It was getting corrected for, gasp, doing something wrong, and being asked to correct it. 

It was moving into a new home a month in, and having to try and be aware of the other people I was living with, and be respectful of their ways of life. 

The list goes on... and on... and on... 

It feels like he just keeps asking for me to give things over to Him, and I just want to scream: 

"ARE YOU DONE YET? HAVEN'T YOU ASKED ENOUGH OF ME?"

 But that is when I come to realize he is a good, good Father, and He is only asking this from me so I can come to love Him in a greater way.

 For that, I should be infinitely pleased and grateful.

Isn't it funny how we get so frustrated at God for asking a lot out of us, even though we know if we give it to Him, it will change us for the better? At this I have to sigh and think, silly Brendan. You're not as smart as you think.

And with that, I can look at these past three months and say, yes, they've been fuzzy, and in truth, hard at times, but I know that God has a plan. I just have to trust Him, knowing that  He'll continue to reveal to me things I need to know, when I need to know them. 

This life is a journey. 

One day at a time. 

"God Alone," 

St. Louis Marie de Montfort

"He died for me, so I will live for Him."