10 Reasons We Won't End Up Together

March 26, 2019

A few weeks ago, my friend wrote a blog titled, "23 Reasons Why I Won't Go Out With You," and after we got to talking, I was invited to write my own (tongue and cheek) list. I never planned to publish it but for the sake of dusting off the old blog, and hopefully giving all of you a few laughs, I'll list a few of the reasons here. Originally my list had 24 reasons (to show I had one more than her), but for now, I'm going to go with just 10.

Reason #1 - You suck at driving

If you go under the speed limit and or can't parallel park, we might not work. Accidents also don't help. I can't be nervous every time you drive the kids to school.

Reason #2 - You can't spot a deal when it is right in front of you

If you go to McDonald's and buy a 10 piece McNugget for $3.50 when the 4 piece is $1, you've got some explaining to do. You just left, at minimum, two nuggets in the friar when they could be in your belly, or better yet, mine! And don't give me the health thing. You're at McDonalds! 

Reason #3 - Your style is described as “Unique” and not in a good way

Not showering and wearing the same shirt two days in a row is not "unique." That is called lazy. 

Reason #4 - You need to grow up

No, seriously, you're way too young. Your Hinge profile said 25 but your birthday balloons say just past legal (18). 

Reason #5 - You want to change my diet

You think I got this body unintentionally? There is a fine line between caring and obsessing.

Reason #6 - You didn't say thank you

Not to me, but to the old man holding the door! You monster! 

Reason #7  -You don't know my siblings names

It's been six freaking months Karen, and I know there are lot of them, but you can't tell me it's that hard to remember them when you know every lyric to every dang song on the radio.

Reason #8 - You wish Hillary Clinton was #YourPresident

Sorry, but not sorry. You don't have to like Trump, but Hillary sucks. 

Reason #9 - You don't like my stories

I'm sorry, but this also means we aren't going to be friends. My stories are must listen's!

Reason #10 - You hate when I sing

Whelp, now you've done it. I'm hurt. 

I might release a more serious list later this week. We shall see.

“Put Out Into the Deep”

January 13, 2019

“Holiness is boldness, an impulse to evangelize and to leave a mark in this world...

How often are we tempted to keep close to the shore! Yet the Lord calls us to

put out into the deep and let down our nets.”

Gaudete et Exsultate #129-130

Last Thursday, I moved to Northern Kentucky to take a job as a Development Officer at Dynamic Catholic. Admittedly, I never imagined myself working in development or moving to Kentucky, but admittedly, I’m glad I’m here.

For three and a half years, I was blessed beyond measure to live in Northern Virginia and work for the Diocese of Arlington. During that time I was able to form so many meaningful and lasting friendships, and grow as a person. God was so good to me by allowing me to be his hands and feet for the church, and to encounter Him in so many incredible ways. But for the past few months, I’ve felt a tug on my heart to grow in a deeper relationship with Him, and encounter Him in new and meaningful ways. The initial tug led me to leave my first adult job as The Young Adult Coordinator for the Diocese, and do so without a backup plan. From there, I was led to a six month period of radical discernment, and forced to trust in ways I hadn’t before. Jesus was calling me to something special, but I didn’t know what.

Then I found myself on Dynamic Catholic’s website, and looking at their various job openings. From there, I decided I would apply for their Development Officer position. Admittedly, I had applied for so many jobs during the few months prior, that this was seen by me as just another application.  That mindset quickly changed after I had my initial phone screening. I found myself actually excited about the potential opportunity to be working for such an inspiring company. From there it finally led to an in-person interview and an opportunity to see the office itself; I was giddy upon my return home.

I saw an organization that shared my love for Catholicism but was also filled with inspiring people. I saw a future. But through that all, I was forced to make a choice. When I was finally offered the job, I had before me three other job opportunities, with two of them keeping me in Virginia, in the place I had called home. I was conflicted, as you can imagine.

And this is where Pope Francis’ quote from above came into play. I could have easily stayed in Virginia, continued to live with and near most of my dearest friends, and given glory to God by doing one of the jobs there. But I also had the option to move to Kentucky and do the uncomfortable, to make a bold move, and let God bless it. Jesus was inviting me out to the deep, and I felt a tug to follow.

The decision to move eight hours away from a place I had come to know wasn’t easy or even one I was planning to make, but it was the decision I felt called to make. And now I’m here, placing my nets into the deep water. I can’t wait to see what I catch!

P.S.

Pray for me and all who work at Dynamic Catholic, and I will pray for you.

God Alone.

Sheep In Need of a Shepherd

8-22-18

Growing up, St. Francis Xavier was both my parish and school, but it was also my home. There was hardly a day I wasn't there, if it be for mass, school or sports. I really loved every aspect of it, including my pastor, Fr. Mark. He was a close family friend, and someone I customarily gave a hug to following mass. I was raised to have a great appreciation and love for priests, understanding how much the Lord uses them in building up the kingdom of God. They are truly Persona Christi, “In the person of Christ.” This appreciation and love followed me when my family moved to Steubenville, as I came to love and respect the new priests in my life. I can honestly say that besides my parents and siblings, the different priests in my life have had the biggest influence on who I am today. I love and admire these men in my life, and want nothing more than to be like them. I want to be docile to the spirit as they have shown me, and I want to be able to give myself fully over to the Lord, with no conditions or strings attached. This has been my experience of men wearing the collar. Far from perfect, but seeking heaven and looking to bring many souls with them.

Sadly, my experience is not everyones. This crisis in the church is indescribable, for all the wrong reasons. Abuse against children is once again at the forefront of our news, and has many people wondering if anything has changed from the last time this was brought to light in Boston. The numbers are staggering, and the fact that it includes men from all levels of the Church hierarchy only makes the stomach churn even more. It isn't just one man doing a lot of harm. No, it's hundreds, and even more added to the number on the count of inaction. The reality is this – anyone who is involved in this will be judged harshly but rightly by God, our Lord and Creator. The severity is unimaginable.

"Let the children come to me, and do not prevent them; 

for the Kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these."

Matthew 19:14

The Kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these. Children are pure and innocent. The men who have done these heinous crimes have directly interfered with that, broken that purity. To add to that, they continued on with their ministry, now blasphemous. They celebrated the sacraments, heard confessions, preached the word of God. I can't judge them at all, and pray and hope they all repented, but there are serious ramifications for the actions they've chosen. Souls have been lost because of this. And then there are the men who knew about this abuse and did little to nothing. They too are guilty for their sins of omission, and will also answer to God for that.

All in all, it's heartbreaking. The question I keep asking myself is, how did it ever get to this? The reality is, no one wakes up and says, “I want to sexually assault children.” The problem here seems to be more an inability to act, than anything else. These men let fear into their lives and listened to the lies the devil spoke to them. They stopped being what they were created to be – which is saints! They stopped accepting the graces of the moment, they stopped asking for Our Lady's intercession, and they let the devil have the final say. They stopped being children of God the Father, and no longer saw the vital role as shepherd's. Instead, they devoured their flock with sin.

So what is next?

I think we all know what needs to be done. Person by person, there has to be change. PRAYER and FASTING have to be taken up, an emphasis on the Eucharist must be at the forefront and lastly, we need to trust, remembering that God always wins in the end. Truly, we have to have hope for our future Church, no matter how ugly it might seem. And if you're looking for a practical way to make change and build up your church community, I highly suggest writing to your pastor, parochial vicar, bishop, priest friends, etc. and let them know they have your support and prayers. They need us in these moments, and we need them! We need to continue to have priests that seek holiness above all else, and want nothing more than to get their flocks to heaven. We need priests of action, and with our own action, we can help them get there! Mary, Mother of the Church, pray for us! Sacred Heart of Jesus, have mercy on us!

A Letter to Fr. James Martin, SJ

6/26/2017

"A Letter to Fr. James Martin in Response to 'Building A Bridge'"

It has now been over a year and a half since I published a blog on here. I've written a few through the Diocese, but it feels good to put something together on my own accord, and speak to something that has been on my heart for quite a while. Recently, as many of you might be aware, Fr. James Martin, SJ, wrote a book titled, "Building a Bridge: How the Catholic Church and the LGBT Community Can Enter into a Relationship of Respect, Compassion and Sensitivity." I just finished the book and decided I want to write a two-part blog entry hitting on my thoughts. 

For part-one, I have decided to write an open letter to Fr. Martin, a letter I'm sharing here, but also sharing with Fr. Martin myself. In my short time of working for the church, I've come to recognize the importance of dialoguing. Although there are parts of the faith that in teaching are very black and white (natural law), the way we go about proclaiming them will not be. Here I hope to let the Holy Spirit speak through me. The second part, which will hopefully come soon, will hit on my thoughts of the book more specifically. 

A quick note - My intention for this post is not to bash Father Martin, or say anything negative about him. My intention is to speak from the heart, and hit on what I find helpful in his book, and also what I think is missing to some extent. All fraternal correction done in charity. I would love to hear your thoughts on my letter/on the book if you have any. 

God bless you and know I'm praying for you. To God be all the Glory! 

Now, to the letter:

Dear Fr. Martin,

May the light of Christ shine on you this day and always! Before I begin this letter, I want you to know of my sincere prayers for you and your ministry! Before I began writing this, I was in adoration, reading and finishing your book, along with praying for you and the work that God has laid out. I pray that you bring many souls to heaven, and that the Holy Spirit guides you in all that you say and do.

I want to also say sorry for the many comments that came out recently/in the past, that are hurtful, defaming, rude, uncharitable, etc. It is one thing to disagree with someone/want clarification/dialogue, but it is another thing all together to say the things I've heard/read. We both know that speaking like this goes against everything Jesus taught. Let us pray that we can do all things in charity.

I now would like to do what I've just mentioned, openly dialogue with you and anyone who reads this, with charity at the forefront. I work for the Church Father, specifically working with young adults, and I realize to some extent the challenges that our Church faces today, the brokenness of people throughout our world, and the secularization of our culture. I'm not a Theologian Father, although I've taken my fair share of Theology classes. No, I studied communications. To give you an understanding of who I am, I share with you the last superlative that I was given, which was, “Most likely to use social media to evangelize.” I feel as if many people buy into what our secular media places before them (myself included). We are told to leave God for Sunday's only, seek pleasure and worldly comforts, and that our feelings are the most important aspect of our lives. Maybe you agree? Maybe you don't? Now we both know that we are made for so much more, that God has a plan for all of us, and if we listen to Him and follow Him, it will lead us to heaven. What a great joy and comfort!

All this being said, I want to put this into context with your book, share my thoughts, and ask a question or two. To start Father, I need to say thank you for all the work that you do and are trying to do. I know that you are, in your words, looking to “bridge the gap.” I was talking to a priest friend of mine who has partaken in ministries similar to the ones you have discussed, and through that dialogue, I have come to better understand the difficulty of defending truth while loving as Jesus taught us to love. My priest friend spoke to me about a ministry he has started as his college for people who are attracted to people of the same gender. He loves these college students, and realizes that Christ is in them, but he also has never stepped away from the truth. I think we are called to do this, and I think you agree.

Now I want to ask a question.

I do realize that your book is more of an “Essay” (your words, not mine), but I have to ask as to why the call to virtue was not more specifically mentioned? You speak a great deal about how we need to meet the person where they are at, realizing that before we can ever get someone to listen to what the church teaches, much less believe it and try to follow it, there has to be some sort of relationship. I'm not at all disagreeing with any of that. I do think though, that to write a book like this, one that will be read by thousands, if not millions, it seems to be a missed opportunity, in my humble opinion. Venerable Fulton Sheen said, “There are not one hundred people in the United States who hate The Catholic Church, but there are millions who hate what they wrongly perceive the Catholic Church to be.” This book will be read my so many catholics and non-catholics, and that is so beautiful, but I feel as if that is all the more reason to proclaim truth and hit on the teachings of the Church.

What virtue/truth am I speaking about? I'm talking about the call to live chaste lives! We both know that this isn't supposed to be a burden on anyone, but instead an opportunity to trust God. The language here has to have charity at the forefront, but it still can be stated. Sexual relations with someone of the same sex is not how God intended it, just as sexual relations outside of marriage between a man and a women is not how God intended it. There is a reason I am a virgin, Father! As a single man, I know that God is calling me to be just that, and I have to trust that He has a plan for me. And I know that everything I'm saying you've heard hundreds of times; I just think that what we focus on here is what makes the difference. What if we switched our efforts, and instead of focusing mostly on how poorly LGBT people are treated, we instead turned the focus towards the opportunity to suffer for the Lord, and offer up their struggles for the sanctity of others? I'm not saying we just tell the LGBT community to suck it up, but lets not forget that for every suffering that is presented, there is also an opportunity to offer it up for the Lord, an opportunity to be a saint!

I'm not naive enough to think that this will work for everyone. You mentioned many times that Jesus first meets the sinner (myself included) where they are at, and only later does the call to conversion come. This is so true, and I think the best thing we can do is just love unconditionally. All that being said, we still should want to speak to another thing Jesus said, which is, “I will show you a more perfect way.” There is a more perfect way for all of us, and it begins by picking up our crosses and following Him.

In conclusion, I agree with you Father that we are called to love, and love unconditionally. But I must say, lets challenge one another, in this situation and in all situations, and if we can speak to the truth all the while loving people where they are at, all the better. To God be all the Glory Father!

God Alone and To Jesus through Mary,

Brendan

Into the Breach - An Apostolic Exhortation

Into the Breach 

An Apostolic Exhortation by Thomas J. Olmsted, Bishop of Phoenix

10-16-15

We are

 under attack.

Satan wants us to burn in Hell.

What are we going to do about it?

My brothers and Sisters - the simple truth is - we have a decision to make. We have to pick sides. Either we give of ourselves, and join up with Heaven and the army of Saints, or we put our selfish ambitions and feelings of pleasure first, and join sides with Hell and the army of demons. 

Bishop Olmsted of Phoenix recently wrote an apostolic exhortation on the present state of our culture, and called out men in particular. He called men "Into the Breach." Too often, men (yes, I'm talking about myself) find themselves standing on the sidelines of the battle for souls, the battle that is going on every single day.

  Men! We have a call! 

This isn't something that can take lightly. There is a real calling to fight today! Bishop Olmsted focused on men in particular in his exhortation because he knows how much men are resisting the call, and how our world is suffering because of that. 

He doesn't waste any time sugar coating the situation, but is very clear and concise.

He asks three questions:

1) What does it mean to be a Catholic man?

2) How does a Catholic man love?

3) Why is fatherhood, fully understood, so crucial for every man?

With these questions, he invites man into an examination of self. Change can only occur once there is a realization it needs to happen in the first place.

With question one, "What does it mean to be a Catholic man?" he starts by speaking about how Pontius Pilate says of Jesus, Ecce Home which means, "Here is the man!" What a statement! Underneath it, we realize he is talking about God, and how God became man, so he could save us. "Nowhere else can we find the fullness of masculinity as we do in the Son of God!" (Into the Breach, pg. 9)


After talking about the example Jesus was, he tells us to look at the saints!
These men knew that Jesus was the best example of man, and tried to live like Him as best they could. Bishop Olmsted compares them to some of the great baseball players who spent their lives learning how to best perform, but doing so in various ways. The way Henry Aaron played was different than Derek Jeter, but both were successful, as true with the saints. St. Francis of Assisi was very different from St. Ignatius of Loyola, but both gave their lives to the service of God.

He continues, speaking of the importance of our identity, and having it formed in Christ. Once we realize that we have a God who made us in his image and likeness, we can begin to better live out the message of love, and fight the battles that are right in front of us: the battles of the flesh, of possessiveness, of pride. Bishop Olmsted hits on the point that Jesus fought all three of these and defeated them. We too can do the same.

To finish off that first question, Bishop Olmsted hits on the need for continual practices that can be done to strengthen our relationship with God. Just like a baseball player will eventually fail without practice, a man, no matter how strong his character may be, will fail in his relationship with God, unless he picks up habits and practices that are life giving. He calls man to pray daily, go to Mass, examine his conscience, read Holy Scripture, and keep the Sabbath. He also urges men to go to confession monthly, and build relationships with other men, so as to strengthen the bonds of virtue (Into the Breach, pg. 15-17). 

"As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another." Proverbs 27:17

Question two asks, "How does a Catholic man love?" In Scripture, Jesus tells us to "love one another as I have loved you," (John 15:12). We come to realize the type of challenge this is as we reflect on the conversation that Jesus has with St. Peter following His resurrection. Jesus asks Peter if he loves him, with an Agape love, which is the highest form of love, that loves fully and without reserve. Peter tells Jesus that he loves him, but it is a filios love, which is a brotherly love (John 21:15-19). Due to our human frailty, we have to be honest with ourselves, and admit that we cannot love and do not love God like we should. Even still, we do have a duty to love Him the best we can, frailties aside.

Bishop Olmsted states that, "Love is not a side job: it is a mission itself" (Into the Breach, pg. 17). We must fully dive into His calling of love, and look to try and follow the true love of Christ, which is "centered on willing the good of the other, on pouring oneself out in charity for others... Sacrifice is at the heart of love” (Into the Breach, pg. 18).

From there, Bishop Olmsted reflects on three types of love: Friend, Husband and Father.

When it comes to that love formed in friendship, he talks about a "Band of Brothers" and gives examples of holy men who sought sanctity together, and through that, ended up in the choir of saints. Ever heard of St. Ignatius of Loyola and St. Francis Xavier? Or St. Francis of Assisi and St. Dominic? These men helped one another in their struggle to live virtuously for Christ. In scripture it says, "A friend is a friend at all times, and a brother is born for the time of adversity" (Proverbs 17:17). Sainthood is to be achieved with help from others who are seeking the same thing. (Into the Breach, pg. 20)

Following friendship, Bishop Olmsted talks about the love of a husband, and quotes St. Josemaria Escriva, "there is a need for a crusade of manliness and purity to counteract and nullify the savage work of those who think man is beast, and that crusade is your work." He is not calling man out, but calling him on! We have a mission. Man is called to lead his wife, and she is called to follow.

 

This can only be done if the man is preparing beforehand. Yes, preparation is key! The building of virtue is not only for older people, but instead, for people of all ages. The French playwright Paul Claudel says, "Youth was not made for pleasure, but for heroism." Heroism is not founded on selfishness, but on selflessness. The call to pursue virtue begins now! Prepare yourself for your future spouse (Into the Breach, pg. 21).  (Need a good prayer to pray? Check out St. Anthony's Be Satisfied with Me.")



This love is not only for men who get married, but also for priests, religious, and single men. St. John Paul II spoke of a "spousal meaning of the body," which is a "love that gives life, seeking the good of those to whom the man has committed" (Into the Breach, pg. 22). How can we fulfill this? We must look to live a life of chastity! This is an ongoing struggle for most men, but it can be repaired, and is done so through self-reflection, and admittance to one's own struggles and failures. With chastity, whether married or celibate, we are free from "the enslavement to sin and our passions" (Into the Breach, pg. 23).

He also talks about the need to build purity of heart, and through this, "You will not only see God in the women in your lives but also in yourselves, also the "image of God!"” A hopeful message to say the least! (Into the Breach, pg. 25)

Question three, just as loaded as the last two, is, “Why is fatherhood, fully understood, so crucial for every man?" To start this section off, Bishop Olmsted begins with the strong words of, "Fatherhood changes History" (Into the Breach, pg. 26). It does, in fact, change history, but it also needs to be fully understood. Satan does not want this. He does not want man to understand the crucial role of the Father, because if man does come to realize its significance and importance, it will give a glimpse of what God's fatherhood looks like (Into the Breach, pg. 27).

With a true understanding of fatherhood, people can come to know God greater, and with that, family life can be changed for the better. The man's presence within the family is irreplaceable. I can personally attest to that! I would not be the person I am today if it were not for my father and the role he played and still plays in my life. Fathers have a "God-given role as protector, provider, and spiritual leader of their homes" (Into the Breach, pg. 28).



This call is for all men! Men, we must step up, and go "Into the Breach!"

Lastly, Bishop Olmsted gives his concluding remarks:

 "Our life in Christ is not one of "do's and don'ts,"

 but an adventure in authentic freedom. 

Embrace that freedom in order to place your life at the service of Christ,

 beginning in your home and radiating into the world." 

(Into the Breach, pg. 31)

To read the full Apostolic Exhortation - Into the Breach.

Thank you to all who took the time to read this! Let us continue to pray for one another and our ongoing call to serve God and his people! Give God everything, and he will give you so much more!

God Alone.

"He died for me, so I will live for Him." 

Life After College - Northern Virginia Edition

Life After College - Northern Virginia Edition

10-6-15

Today I can raise a glass and celebrate - I've made it three months. Three months of working for the Diocese of Arlington, three months of living in Northern Virginia, three months of settling into a totally new environment, three months of being an adult. 

Three months that God has given me! Praise Him!

Five months ago, I graduated from Franciscan University, and quickly after, found myself having the best summer of my life at Lifeteen Camp in Georgia. I can look back at that experience and not only speak highly of it, but also remember the memories. It changed the person I am today. (If you want to hear about that experience, check out my last blog.)

But that time has passed. It's been three months since I was jumping in mud pits and screaming my lungs out with teenagers during praise and worship. 

I left camp, and a week later, was starting the job I am working now - Young Adult Coordinator for the Diocese of Arlington. 

And now, its October. 

Crazy. Time really does fly. 

Now the question becomes, how have these past three months gone?

In truth, I had very few expectations coming to this area of the country. There were some certainties of course, like the fact I knew I had a job, and I knew I'd be living with my brother and very close to my sister, but besides that, I was going into this new chapter of my life blind. 

I had never met the people I was going to be working with, and all I knew about my job was from a little paragraph under the job description. 

Even still, I knew I'd be working for the Church, and that God wanted me here. The rest of it? I trusted God would make it all clear in time.

Well, three months in, and in truth, I'd say things are still fuzzy. 

I want to first say that I really love what I'm doing, and I know there is a real reason I'm doing it. God didn't place me here just because. I remember Senior Year someone asking me what I was planning to do upon graduation, and without really knowing what I was saying, I said, "Probably working for the Church for the rest of my life in some way." 

That wasn't just water under the bridge. I know that those words came out not so much for the person I was talking to, but for me. God told me what he wanted, and he did so by letting me say it out loud. I majored in communications, not theology, yet God has made it clear he isn't really concerned about that. 

But like I said, things are still fuzzy. He convinced me I'm called to serve Him in a very ministerial way, but that doesn't mean I have perfect clarity. My vision is still a bit blurry. 

I can see bits and pieces of his never ending plan for me, but due to my own deficiencies, it isn't making a whole lot of sense. There are days that I find myself working, and I ask myself, "Is this really what you want from me Lord? There has to be something else you want from me, cause this is not me." I've begun to realize I'm mixing "my plan" with "God's plan" and hoping I can make mine become His, 

In truth, I've done before; it's definitely not a new concept.  

Good can be done through this!

 But in the end, Jesus tells us, "I will show you a more perfect way," and does so for a reason. He wants the absolute best for us and from us. God is a loving Father, and because of that, wants us to take the very best path available, 

He doesn't just want us to be doing good, to be feeling good. He wants us to be doing our best, to be feeling our best! 

We will never be perfect.

I will never be perfect!

But that doesn't mean I shouldn't try. And how do I accomplish this? Little by little. 

I'm called to give it all over to Him, for His greater glory.

And believe me, since moving to Virginia, He's loved asking this of me.

At first, it was living in a house where I had no room, and no place to store my stuff. I was basically sleeping in the living room nightly. I was away from my usual comforts. It wasn't too much of a sacrifice, but it stretched me. 

Then it happened when I came to realization I didn't have the community I had while in school. I wanted to be with people every day, but God asked me to instead spend that time with Him. Again, I was being stretched. 

Then it was working a real job, with larger responsibilities then I was used to, and having to follow steps and regulations that seemed to get in the way of doing things "my way." It was getting corrected for, gasp, doing something wrong, and being asked to correct it. 

It was moving into a new home a month in, and having to try and be aware of the other people I was living with, and be respectful of their ways of life. 

The list goes on... and on... and on... 

It feels like he just keeps asking for me to give things over to Him, and I just want to scream: 

"ARE YOU DONE YET? HAVEN'T YOU ASKED ENOUGH OF ME?"

 But that is when I come to realize he is a good, good Father, and He is only asking this from me so I can come to love Him in a greater way.

 For that, I should be infinitely pleased and grateful.

Isn't it funny how we get so frustrated at God for asking a lot out of us, even though we know if we give it to Him, it will change us for the better? At this I have to sigh and think, silly Brendan. You're not as smart as you think.

And with that, I can look at these past three months and say, yes, they've been fuzzy, and in truth, hard at times, but I know that God has a plan. I just have to trust Him, knowing that  He'll continue to reveal to me things I need to know, when I need to know them. 

This life is a journey. 

One day at a time. 

"God Alone," 

St. Louis Marie de Montfort

"He died for me, so I will live for Him."

I Hear Georgia is Nice This Time of Year 

Making decisions normally stresses people out.


A lot.


Especially big decisions.


It makes sense. You don’t want to do something, only to regret it soon after. It’s best to evaluate it, think it over, and see if that decision really is the best course of action. Prudence. It’s a wonderful thing.


But…


Then there are people like myself.


I’m the type who makes decisions on the fly, even the large ones, and hopes it works out. I trust that it will, and God always finds a way to work with what I give him. For me, I go with my gut. If I feel like I should do it, I do. Examples? My job I am working now, the car I drive, the house I’m living in. All, “Sure, that should work out” decisions.


The example I want to talk about though – Covecrest.


So…


I had been wanting to work at Camp for the last two summers, but didn’t because I
1) missed the deadline the first summer and
2) Chose to take an Internship instead of working Hidden Lake last summer


This year though? I wanted to travel to Europe! I wanted to work in Medjugorje, the most peaceful place I’ve ever been. They have a castle there that houses priests, religious and college students, and I wanted to volunteer there. I had all the forms and stuff. But then I remembered Camp.


I still wanted to do Camp.


I then found myself applying the weekend before the deadline arrived.


I then had an interview, and then received a call.


I then humbly accepted.


I didn’t have a job, or any idea what I was doing after school, but I knew camp would be fun, and so, I decided that I would go. It wasn’t a long drawn out process. Just a day where I longed to be there (a place I didn’t actually know, but had only heard about) and that was enough. I applied and I knew God wanted me there.


SIDE NOTE – Believe me, the Devil didn’t want me here, and he made that apparent. He even tried putting good things in front of me, in hopes that I never saw those Georgia hills. Even with my job I took, they asked me when I could work. I said the end of June – they wanted someone mid May. It would have been easy to drop camp and go straight to work. But I knew in my heart God wanted me here, so I resisted offering that to my current employers. I had a feeling God would make both work out. And of course, he did. I had the job offered to me, and of course, accepted right away (Not the sit and discern type normally). And they of course said I didn’t need to start till July.


Anyways.


Then I got to camp…


I might have told some of you this, but I realized only when I got to camp that I had no real reason to be there, minus the selfish ones.


I was there for me.


I wanted to grow closer to God and make new friends. That is why I was at camp. It wasn’t for teens, or to work, or to serve. It was to make more friends and hang out.


Then we had work week…


Wait, there is work involved, I thought to myself. I actually got mad. Mad that camp couldn’t have had this stuff already prepared, mad that they didn’t let us sleep in the first day we arrived, mad I didn’t get to choose my own schedule.


Then day three or four hit. I was sick of being mad, asking God why I was there, blah, blah, blah. I started to love the work.


Well…


I don’t think I’ll ever love manual labor, or that type of work, but I loved the mission of the work. I loved the idea of setting up a camp for these kids, working along side my brothers and sisters, and serving.


I love serving; anyone who does it long enough loves serving. God designed it that way! When we give of ourselves, God gives us so much more back. But now I found myself loving a type of service I had always hated, the manual labor side.


Then we had orientation week, training week. Once again I was mad at times, mad we had to go and listen to loads of talks, follow a schedule, etc. I just wanted to hang out with my brothers and sisters, pray with them, get to know them. Socialize. This orientation though? What good was it?


But then we had the talks at night. I cried every night. I kid you not. During those first two weeks, I cried almost every day. And it wasn’t tears of sadness or frustration. No, it was tears of joy, tears of beauty. I was crying because of the glory of God.


Once again, God was changing me. God 2. BrenGott 0. Typical.


And then came the campers…


Each week was different, and held its own obstacles, but it was awesome.


I. Me. Myself.


Yeah, didn’t do anything. I was worthless.


But God, through my brothers and sisters, and humbly through me?


Yeah, he killed it.


God killed it.


Weird way to phrase it, but I mean Killed it! He killed the hundreds of teens that came to Covecrest, and had them be reborn!


We all know it – it’s near impossible to spend that much time with the Lord and not be moved. He was AWEsome and I am so much better for it. He wrecked me just like he wrecked those kids, telling me how much he desires me to give myself fully over to him.


He made me realize I was at camp for ME, but also to be used as His hands and feet. Believe me, I know how unworthy I am. As my friend Daniel said it best, “I’m really good at sinning.” Well, I am in that boat as well. But God works with that. And I know I’m not the best with teens, or the best at striking conversations with random kids. I like older people better; I relate better with them. But that didn’t matter. God still used me. He knew my deficiencies and said, you’ll do fine. And I was humbled, and I learned a lot. Watching you all taught me so much, especially in the areas I struggled at.


It was arguable the best six weeks of my life.


And now Camp Life is a thing of the past.


It’s over.


I can't go back to those six weeks.


But.
that’s.
the.
point.


I'm not supposed to! I'm called to greater things! We're called to greater things! You, me, we’re called to be SAINTS!


Camp was a six week prep course for building a personal prayer life that I can continue. We focused on the best thing possible – the Eucharist! Now it is time to take that with me and continue to follow that calling.


That first week back sucked. I missed my family at the Cove. I was home and was picking up old habits I thought I was through with. Laziness was back at the forefront.


But then God sent me to Virginia, and not a moment too soon.


He placed me in a Diocese that is truly faithful, following the Church as best it can. He placed me in a job that is centered around the faith, centered around achieving Holiness in the most practical ways. He gave me a new family who is praying for me daily, and one that I pray for daily as well.


And most importantly, he gives me a gift that is always there for the taking, which is Christ himself. His most precious Body and Blood, freely given at the table.
For this I am most thankful.


To all who took the time to read this, I love you all so much. I want you to know that. I can’t tell you enough. I love you so very much.


But He loves us so much more. And man oh man, how lucky are we for that!


In conclusion, I know I just wrote a book. I love writing, so that’s no surprise. But it’s only because I love our God, I love you, and I can’t wait to be in Heaven with all of you one day.

Totus Tuus Maria

and above all else –

God Alone.

"He died for me, so I will live for Him."